A single rule cannot cover this catalogue
Fit questions of every sort come in the same shape: what size should I order? Because That’s A Awful Lot Of Cough Syrup puts out its fit guidance product by product, not https://awfullottacoughsyrup.com/product-category/t-shirts/ once for the range, it depends on the style. True to size is the line most of the catalogue carry. Two of the tees run small enough that the brand tells you to go one or two sizes bigger. True to size describes two more as well, though each one invites you to size up for the oversized look. Returns happen precisely when one rule is applied anyway, because instructions of that kind cannot be folded into one.
The size chart that is missing, and what that means for you
No global size chart is published by the brand. A general sizing chart and a separate t-shirt size chart, its own sizing pages, render without any chart content as of September 2026. Far from being a temporary outage, that is the state of the site. That means the product description is your only authoritative source on fit, and it deserves a full read. On a resale listing, a blog or a lookalike store, any measurement table for alocs clothing is somebody else’s reconstruction, not a published figure. Read those charts as guesses, because that is what they are.
The size range on offer
Start with what is actually on offer. Apparel runs XS to 3XL, with small through extra-large on nearly every style. 3XL appears on 48 products, so the top is narrower than it looks and a 3XL buyer shops a subset of the catalogue. For kids, sizes run 2/3, 4/5, 6 and 8. Denim and workwear sit off that ladder, but sized by waist from 28 through 44. Arranged by situation, the sections below quote every instruction from the brand’s own copy.
When the style is true to size
Listed as fitting true to size: the Classic Cough Syrup T-Shirt, Hoodie and Sweatpants, the Dickies Button Down, the Dodger T-shirt, the Double Cup Cargo Shorts, the Women’s Booty Shorts, and the King Of The Kill, Drankenstein and Juicebusters tees. The simplest case is also the default across most of the catalogue. Because the classic tees are described as relaxed-fit, true to size already means a roomier body than a fitted tee. With all of these, order the size you normally wear. In a classic awful lot of cough syrup shirt, your usual medium buys you a relaxed medium, not a slim one. Should you want more room, the next situation applies.
When the page says to size up for an oversized fit
Easy to misread: two styles carry a note that does two things at once. For the Warning T-Shirt the copy reads true to size, with the added line that for an oversized fit you should consider sizing up. The Double Cup Cargo Shorts word it slightly differently: they run true to size, and for an oversized fit you size up one. What the note gives you is a condition, not a correction. What the brand is doing is explaining how to reach a looser silhouette; the garment is not mis-sized. Order your normal size if you want the intended fit; if you want it big, go one up and stop, because the note says one.
When a style runs small
Here ignoring the product copy costs the most. The Wok Is Dead T-Shirt and the Promethazine Tour T-Shirt carry an explicit warning: the style runs small, so order one or two sizes bigger than your regular size for a relaxed fit. Unlike the heavyweight classic tee, both are wide-fit, cropped tees in lightweight cotton jersey, rinsed for a vintage feel, with water-based prints front and back. A large or extra-large is where that lands you here if your usual size is a medium. Because a cropped body is short by design, the extra size buys length as much as width. As an illustration of why one rule cannot cover thats an awful lot of cough syrup as a catalogue, this is the clearest.
Where flat measurements are published
A few products carry actual flat measurements, and these beat every rule of thumb. The waist and inseam figures are given for the Double Cup Cargo Shorts: small 29.5 inches and 7.75, medium 31.5 and 8, large 33.5 and 8.5, extra-large 35.5 and 9, 2XL 37.5 and 9.5. The Wok Is Dead and Promethazine Tour tees carry published width by length from the back: small 20 inches by 17.5, medium 21.5 by 19, large 23 by 20.5. The method is simple: lay flat a garment you own and like, measure armpit to armpit and collar seam to hem, then compare. Where measurements are published, use them and disregard everything else. Without assuming anything, that comparison tells you more than any letter can.
When bottoms are what you are buying
People get caught out by the second logic that bottoms follow. On the XS to 3XL ladder you find sweatpants and sweat shorts, with the Classic Cough Syrup Sweatpants published as fitting true to size. Because denim and workwear go by waist from 28 through 44, there is no letter to convert. The cargo shorts, the carpenter pants and the Dickies-based trousers all sit there. The two systems do not map onto each other, and nothing published converts between them. Instead of guessing, measure trousers you already wear when you are shopping alocs shorts and the listing offers a waist number.
When the product page says nothing at all
Judgement is needed where a listing carries no fit note at all, which is plenty of them. The safest assumption is true to size, because that is the published default wherever the brand does say something. Beyond that, let the garment type guide you: a 16 oz hoodie and a 6.5 oz tee behave very differently, and heavier cloth is less forgiving. Since a lightweight cropped tee running small says nothing about a fleece sweatpant, no rule should be imported from one style onto another. On an awful lot of cough syrup hoodie with no note, your usual size is the reasonable default, and one up if you want it oversized. Choose one that does publish a note when the piece matters and the page stays silent.
What to order, style by style, in one place
All of the published fit instructions are collected in one place below. The middle column holds what the brand says on the product page, and the right column turns it into a decision. Nothing here has been inferred from resale listings or reviews, or averaged into a general rule. A style that is absent carries no published note, which leaves the true-to-size default. Every line of it was checked in September 2026. Treat it as a companion to the product page rather than a replacement, since products come and go every few weeks.
| Style | What the brand says about fit | What to order |
|---|---|---|
| Classic Cough Syrup T-Shirt | Fits true to size; relaxed fit | Your usual size |
| Classic Cough Syrup Hoodie | Runs true to size | Your usual size |
| Classic Cough Syrup Sweatpants | Fits true to size | Your usual size |
| King Of The Kill, Drankenstein, Juicebusters tees | Style fits true to size | Your usual size |
| Dickies Button Down, Dodger T-shirt, Women’s Booty Shorts | True to size | Your usual size |
| Warning T-Shirt | Runs true to size; for oversized fit, consider sizing up | Usual size, or one up for oversized |
| Double Cup Cargo Shorts | Runs true to size; for oversized fit, size up one | Usual waist, or one up for oversized |
| Wok Is Dead T-Shirt | Runs small; order 1-2 sizes bigger than your regular size | One or two sizes up |
| Promethazine Tour T-Shirt | Runs small; order 1-2 sizes bigger than your regular size | One or two sizes up |
| Any style with no published note | Nothing published | Usual size; one up for oversized |
A last word on charts you find elsewhere
There is no published size chart for this brand, and it is worth repeating because it is the point most likely to save you a parcel. Whoever made the charts circulating under the brand’s name did it by measuring one garment or copying a template, and neither accounts for a catalogue where one tee runs small and another runs relaxed. The frequently asked questions do not fill the gap either, and the pages that would hold one load without any chart. Trust the per-product fit note, the published flat measurements where they exist, and a tape measure against something you own. Given a refund window of a month from purchase and return shipping paid by the customer, returns exist, so a wrong call is recoverable but not free. Posting a box back costs more than reading the copy properly.